Storytelling

Air Golf

Some men like to pretend they’re golfing. They swing an imaginary club while waiting in line at the movies, or waiting for an elevator, or while talking to someone outside of their cubicle at work. It’s usually a drive, a big, roundhouse swing, with lots of follow through and an excellent pose at the end.

I’ve seen men that actually take some imaginary warm-up swings, adjust their stance, and then take the big swing. It can take longer for the imaginary swing than they might take if they actually were playing golf with a club and a ball.

I have done this myself, swinging the imaginary golf club, watching the flight of the imaginary ball, and then planning my second shot. I imaginary drive very well, so I’m almost always in the fairway, just a wedge away from the green.

The reason we men do this, acting out a sport in an imaginary life in public, you might think is because we men have golf on our mind all the time. I assure you that we have sex on our mind. Because we can’t have imaginary sex in public, we intead pretend we are golfing. Golf in really boring whether you play it or watch it on TV. So when we swing our arms for the big drive, what we’d really like to do is take an imaginary woman in our arms, kiss and caress her, undress her, and then take the really big drive.

But doing that in public while waiting for an elevator might seem silly. If you acted out imaginary sex in front of your cubicle while talking with coworkers, no one might ever visit you again. That’s strange but true. The men are all thinking the same thing, but they are afraid of being ostracized for lewd behavior, so instead they pretend to swing at a golf ball. Now you know what they’re thinking about.