When I played hockey, most of the guys on the team would blow their nose by closing one nostril with a finger and blowing, spewing phlegm across the ice. We called it “coach’s handkerchief,” but it always creeped me out. I would sneak tissue onto the ice, hiding it in quiet places in my uniform. I was lucky I wasn’t abused by them in the shower.

I have seen, on more than one occasion, grown men blow their nose into the sink in the men’s room at work. I just barely understand this, but only just barely. It is, technically, probably, as equally hygienic as using tissue, but it’s just one of those things that creep me out slightly. It’s like someone that brushes their teeth in the kitchen sink. It just doesn’t seem right.

Do you say, “bless you” when someone is bent over the sink blowing their nose? Small talk is tough enough in the men’s room without some weird breach of protocol. I don’t quite know what to say, so it’s imperative that I don’t make eye contact. When you’re shoulder to shoulder at the urinal, all is right with the world. Just don’t make any sudden movements, and don’t glance in their direction, and everything will be all right.

But when the guy is bent over at the sink, if the timing is wrong, he’s going to stand up and you can’t help but look. Dumb ass. It’s not like I wash my hands in his cubicle, or pee in a jar while waiting for the elevator.