Poop, Poop, Vomit

My neighbor made a mistake the other day, and I was happy to help the fix the problem. They went away on a Saturday morning with the intention of not returning until late Sunday. Their mistake was in forgetting about their dog, who was left alone in the house. When they called, I was happy to help.

I stopped by in the evening on Saturday night and again around midnight. In the morning, I returned. Each time the dog was thrilled to see me, wanted to play, but spent only a the minimal amount of time necessary to pee outside. Somehow, I thought the dog knew what he was doing.

I meant to return around 1 PM, but, feeling sick, had lain down for a moment and fell asleep. This almost made me late for my daughter’s choir recital, so I did not have time to let Tucker, the dog, out until after the recital.

I returned around 4 PM, and discovered that the dog had pooped all over the front entranceway of the house. There was a massive pile right by the door, and then splatterings along the hall right into the kitchen. It took me half an hour to clean the mess, and it stunk to the high heavans while I did so.

Still, I felt good about the situation. I had mostly helped my neighbor, and hadn’t stepped in the mess. I returned home disgusted, but somewhat satisfied.

My own two dogs were thrilled to see me. On my second step inside, however, the floor gave way. I looked down to discover that I had stepped in a pile of my dog’s mess. A few inches from that was a pile of vomit, to go along with it. I’d like to think I could learn from my mistakes, but I think I was just snake-bit on this one.