I may have become a little bit of a bore and a twit. I know my teenage children would agree, but I often catch myself explaining obscure references in conversations, and taking the discussion off track in tangents. It’s bad enough to make an obscure reference, but then to explain it in detail, and go . . . → Read More: Nose Job
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The only thing I remember about it is the fact that I was such a smart ass that the teacher kicked me out and was not going to let me take the class. . . . → Read More: Learning How To Drive As is often the case at the beginning of the year, I am confronted by my messy basement. I made an off-hand remark on Facebook about it, and it generated the most comments I have ever had about a simple status update. This confirms, anecdotally, what I have often encountered (also anecdotally) throughout my life, . . . → Read More: Annual Basement Blues Our garage door has been a problem child for the past few years, moreso even than our problem children. In its defense, the garage door was abused as a child. It has been hit with the car several times. Also, it was born with a handicap: the builder of the house went cheapo on it, . . . → Read More: A Minor Christmas Miracle I gave a speech yesterday for Toastmasters. This was one of the few times that I prepared well in advance but, ironically, I did not pay close enough attention to the actual assignment. I have posted the text of the original speech in my articles. However, only those in attendance can know the actual speech . . . → Read More: A Dog’s Life Two of the happiest people on earth at the moment have got to be Richard Heene, from “Balloon Boy” fame, and Jon Gosselin, formerly of “Jon and Kate, etc.”, whose unseemly behavior had cast them, figuratively and literally, in unfavorable and unforgiving light. Their publicity aside, Richard seemed to be perpetually in need of a . . . → Read More: Garbage Scow Ten years ago, I made the mistake of buying a used, rear-projection television. It was forty-six inches from corner to corner, had a fuzzy picture, and was soiled and dirty from misuse. At some point in its life, judging from the crusty stains on the pressed wood cabinet, this television must have been owned by . . . → Read More: The Shawshank Redemption Rear-Projection Television My house is on a wooded lot. It was a mess of cherry, ash, maple, and thick underbrush. The only way to get through it was to crawl through the poison ivy. The neighbors from the adjoining subdivision had taken to dumping trash and dog poop in the low area at the back. It was . . . → Read More: On Trees, Chain Saws, and Axes This past weekend, I spent the better part of Sunday at a soccer field. Not just a soccer field, but a soccer complex with eight large fields. As part of a tournament, my son was sideline judge for six games. I drove him there before eight A.M.; instead of going home to just wait to . . . → Read More: Parenting Story I have never had good luck playing practical jokes. They generally backfire, and I feel awful. I feel awful right now. When I was four years old, my mother took me along shopping. I thought it was great sport to hide from her while she shopped. I would duck in and out of the clothes . . . → Read More: Practical Jokes Not to Play |
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