When it comes to ending telephone conversations, I have lost the ability to hang up the damn phone. It becomes an awkward series of… “Okay…see you…take care…talk to you later…have a good evening…alright….later…mm-hmm…goodbye…bye. It doesn’t matter who the other person is, be they a close friend, old friend, remote acquaintance, service manager at the auto … Read more

Some men like to pretend they’re golfing. They swing an imaginary club while waiting in line at the movies, or waiting for an elevator, or while talking to someone outside of their cubicle at work. It’s usually a drive, a big, roundhouse swing, with lots of follow through and an excellent pose at the end. … Read more

My son asked me about the afterlife. He said, “When I’m in heaven, will my video game have infinite lives, or will I need to use a cheat code?”

My father’s sex talk with me was very brief. He said, “You have a penis, and you stick that in a girl’s vagina, and you ejaculate sperm, and that’s what makes babies. You got that?” I got it. I had no idea what the hell he was talking about, but I got it. He didn’t … Read more

So my wife brought a cat into our home. I’m not strictly against cats, and we have had them in the past and I have enjoyed them. Truly, I am both a dog person and a cat person. But with most cats, they dictate the terms of the engagement. And they’re loathe to negotiate. What … Read more