Toothpaste Tubes

It used to be that how one squeezed the toothpaste tube could ruin a marriage. If you were a ham-fisted buffoon that grabbed the tube in the middle, you’d soon trap a third of the toothpaste at the bottom. And what a horrible reminder to your wife that she would never be caressed gently or … Read more

The Immutable Laws of Comedy

I. If something bad happens to me, that’s tragedy. But if it happens to you, that’s comedy. II. Tragedy plus time equals comedy. III. Everything is really just a dick joke. IV. Getting hit in the balls is always funny to someone. V. Words with the ‘K’ sound are funny. DISCUSSION These laws have been … Read more

My Reality Bites (Sometimes)

I’m usually a very upbeat person, but coming home was tough today. I had to clear a clogged drain–that was my mission for the evening. I came home to find the mailbox knocked from the post out on the curb. So in the freezing rain, I repaired that. No need to rush inside, Once I … Read more

Graduation Night

My family threw a party the day I graduated from high school. It’s was just an open house. Our extended family was there, but what I really hoped for was to have a bunch of my friends from high school there. Not a lot of them showed up. The trick is that there were probably … Read more

How to Invite a Man to a Fight

Amongst men, if you want to pick a fight with another man, you should enter the room in anger and throw something at him. Other acceptable forms of the invitation to fight are the two-handed push to the chest, the finger poke to the sternum, and insulting his mother. This formal invitation is often seen … Read more