Is it Joy or Jealousy that Motivates You to Live?

It’s spring break for most schools here in Lansing, so it’s quiet at the office and quiet in the hood. A lot of people I know have traveled to Florida. Good for them. May they find fun in the sun, and enjoy a good book on the beach.

Reading on the beach is not my thing. First of all, it’s a pain in the ass to find a good position for reading. If you only have a towel with you, you’re either on your back using the book to block the sun, or on your stomach arching your back to raise your head to see the pages. I can’t read like that.

If I were around the house, I wouldn’t choose either of those positions to read. I’d be curled up on the sofa with snacks and drinks nearby. When I read myself to sleep, I am on my back in bed but I’m propped up comfortably with pillows and a lamp on the night table shining an optimal amount of light on the book’s pages (or I use an ebook reader).

The other way I read around the house is sitting on the toilet. Now if there were toilets scattered across the beach, I’d consider reading books at the beach.

Yep, that’s an A.I. generated picture.

My favorite way to read on vacation is on a lounge chair next to the pool. I can adjust the seat to support my back. I can position the chair to put the sun behind me, shining down on the pages. And I can have snacks and drinks nearby. When I’m too warm, I hop in the pool.

I know I sound like an old crank, but schlepping stuff to the beach, dealing with hot sand up your butt, and wondering about how much urine is in the water when I finally take a dip just doesn’t do it for me. I know the ocean can dilute pee quickly, but there’s still a lot of sea creatures out there, and the bodily fluids they push out has got to be a higher concentration than you want to deal with.

Like if you buy a bottle of an orange-flavored “drink” and notice that urine is listed in the ingredients, you probably won’t drink it even if it’s the last ingredient.

Jealousy and Motivation

When it comes to publishing stories and selling books, I firmly believe that a rising tide raises all boats, meaning I think there’s room for everyone to find success. It also means I like to use trite expressions to convey meaning, when convenient, but if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, clichés work.

But I’m not immune from jealousy and frustration when I see others succeed where I have not. The nice thing about jealousy is that it informs you about your desires and can be a useful motivator. You just have to keep it in check so it doesn’t turn dark.

I’m talking about authors with steady sales. Amazon doesn’t release any specific sales data, but they do update their bestseller lists almost hourly, and rank all books. The weird thing is that, if you can sell four books a day, you break into the top-100 in most categories. Sell ten a day and you’re in the top-100 of Amazon.

The key, I’m told, is to develop an audience, figure out what they really like, and serve it up fast.

I have a tool that estimates the number of daily sales a book has in the various categories. It interpolates the sales based on the current ranking. Checking those numbers can be like picking a scab. As I see which books are selling, it saps my motivation to write. I think, why didn’t my books sell well? I check again in a different category, and see big numbers again.

It’s not a healthy way to act as a writer. Checking sales numbers is grabbing a tiger by the tail. You think the dangerous part is far away but in the blink of an eye it turns and bites you.

I’ve gotten myself into this metaphor, so I’m going to find my way out.

The helpful thing about reading other writers is to sense the joy in their writing and draw energy from the work. The sales are up to a fickle crowd. Sure, it’s possible to write for popularity (grab the tiger by the tail), but if it doesn’t bring joy to the writer (me) it will eventually turn and kill your creative spirit (that’s when the tiger bites your face off).

Books that got me going

It was on a family road trip to Florida that I realized I could probably still succeed as a writer. During one of the frequent rest stops we made because of the two kids and my weak bladder, I grabbed a copy of Tim Dorsey’s novel, Florida Roadkill, and read it during the remainder of the trip.

It’s a fast-paced, campy crime story. Certain plot points were improbable, some of the characterization is thin, but the energy and joy of the storytelling leapt from the page. When I finished it, I looked for another.

It didn’t have the tough guy vibe of noir stories. It was more like a travel guide with all kinds of crazy stuff going on. In a word, it was a hoot.

At that time, I was reading Elmore Leonard. Leonard’s breezy, conversational style also made me think I could write like that, but I still thought I’d never be as cool as he was about it.

But with Dorsey I thought, hell, I can write stories like that.

I still haven’t written stories like his but I’m glad I had those urges because something even better happened.

As I worked through all the challenges of writing longform stories, revising, rewroting, and revising again, I developed my own style. My sense of humor is now infused in my storytelling. So I’m not Dorsey-like, nor am I Leonard-like. I’m me.

There used to be a warning issued to writers that they should avoid reading while writing for fear that they will parrot the style of powerful writers. Maybe that’s a risk when you’re starting out, but as you grow and develop skills and style, the things you read and love make you stronger in your own voice.

I’ve certainly been inspired by plenty of other great writers, such as Tana French, Olga Tokarczuk, and Ursula K Le Guin. I’d love for people to compare me to them, or to George Saunders, Donald Barthelme, or Sara Lippman. For now, the inspiration of their great writing pushing me forward will have to be enough.

Meanwhile, at My Writing Desk…

I’m only a couple thousand words shy of completing this revision of the current novel. I’ve relied on all my skills to complete it and I’m pretty happy about where it ended up. The story moved from where I started, so now the working title doesn’t work. By the next Picayune, it should be all tidied up and ready for beta readers.

Maybe You’d Like

This week, I’m working with fantasy and thriller authors to share our work and recruit readers. As always, the cover and title tells speaks volumes about what’s inside, so have a look and see what you like!

Mythological Beasts and Beings