If you’re just tuning in, this is the third installment about my uncle’s cottage, and you can catch up with the first two here.
When last we spoke, a new weather phenomenon of sustained winds raised the waters of the Sandusky Bay above flood stage, putting a foot of water into the cottages along the shore, and turning the streets of Port Clinton into streams and estuaries.
One of the neighboring cottages to my uncle’s had been struggling with their septic system for years, as the tiny plot of land had stopped percolating, and they were forced to install an aerated tank. With the rising waters, however, even that was made useless because the clean water could no longer flow into the bay, and they next installed a septic pump and holding tank to raise the clean water up a few feet first for discharge.
It’s a bit much to go through, but I believe it was the Zen philosopher Basho who said, “A home without a working toilet is a shed, and a shed with a foot of water in it is a piss-poor boat.”
Rise Above the Chaos
My uncle, now in his 80s, quietly sold his cottage, no longer willing to deal with the issues. The new owner, with fresh energy and money, hired a firm to raise the cottage two feet off the ground.
It’s an interesting bit of engineering. The cottages are built on a thin slab of concrete. To lift it, they run a sixty-foot, steel I-beam through the house, attach all the walls to it, and then use a crane to lift the cottage off of the slab.
They build a new crawl space on top of the slab to support the house, probably put extra sump pumps under it to manage the flood as much as possible, and drop the house. All that likely costs ten times the amount needed to build the cottage seventy years ago, but such is the price of progress.
I’m Not an Engineer…More of an Imagineer…
If it were me, I’d attach pontoon floats to the bottom of the building–all the way around–and wait for the next flood. As the water rises the cottage is lifted up; you prop up the cottage with sticks and bricks and whatever you can. Hell, park a car under a wall, or stack some milk crates or something if you have to.
Also, leave the pontoon floats attached because, as surely as the toilet will clog when you poop at someone else’s house, there will be an even greater flood in the future.
Meanwhile, at My Writing Desk…
I had just begun writing the book I’ve been designing, when… Suddenly!!!!
I had a last minute epiphany about the plotting and I’m quite excited to write the story. Not that I was dreading it, but it’s going to be fun. Of course, it’ll be six months in the making, but I think you’ll like it when you see it.
Upcoming Books and Stuff
Ruthless, a domestic thriller. Set in 1979, it’s about a quiet suburb that has some bad stuff boiling below the surface.
And…if you’re short on time…
I say “remarkably” because I’m using IngramSpark to print and distribute the books, and I didn’t realize how easy the pre-order process is, and how easily the book appears at most booksellers. It just happens, which is cool stuff for someone (i.e., me) who publishes books.
Maybe You’d Like
Here are two more books to pique your interest.
It’s dystopian sci-fi about the idea of using augmented reality to distort your view of the world, allowing you to be happy despite what’s going on.
This is a reader magnet of a zombie apocalypse. The cover gives you a great sense of what’s happening.
The real question is: where does it go?
Next Picayune
I’ll tell you more about Ruthless and Willievillie in the upcoming Picayunes. Hopefully, I’ll be able to share reviews about HIVE, which has earned a couple of good reviews, but could use quite a few more (remember, even bad reviews help, because they inform the would-be reader about the story).
Thanks for reading the Mickey Picayune
P.S.
Either way, if that’s your thing, grab a copy and let me know via a review what you think about it.