I came downstairs after a meeting the other day and smelled a familiar smell. It was earthy, verdant, unpleasant. It was dog poop.
I’ve been fortunate the past year to work from home because, for one thing, I get to hang out with our dog, ‘lil Mikey Bloomberg. He’s a toy poodle who likes to cuddle on our laps. That’s what lap dogs do. They are good at it.
I Like Dogs
I like dogs and they are always welcome in our home. Mikey, a rescue, adjusted within a couple of weeks and hasn’t had any accidents in the house since then.
Our adult son (not a rescue) lives with us, working from home. In December, he got a puppy, Ollie, an Australian Shepherd. They like to herd things. That’s what herding dogs do. It’s great if you’re a sheep, not so great for everyone else.
But he’s cute and playful which goes a long way towards loving the little guy.
Ooh That Smell
Back to that familiar, unpleasant smell: I immediately suspected Ollie was the culprit. When I found the scene of the accident, it was much worse than I feared. Not only was it a sizable pile of poop, but someone stepped in it and tracked it across the room.
It was not unlike those moments in true crime television shows when they finally show you the bit of evidence that reveals the culprit. The only person who could have stepped in the poop was my wife, and her bedroom slippers told the tale.
A Puppy in a Pandemic? Seemed Like a Great Idea at the Time?
Even under the *ideal* circumstances of being home all the time, it’s tough raising a puppy. The first several weeks they piss seemingly at random, and poop if only to surprise you. Need to jump on a call for work? That’s cool with Ollie, but he might leave you a little surprise in the corner.
We have a large, fenced-in yard, which takes a lot of the trouble out of dog ownership. But you still have to get them outside when it’s time for their business meeting.
Trickle Down Economics
Getting a puppy outside in time to do his business is easy in theory, tricky in practice. It’s kind of like trickle-down economics: you give rich people tax breaks, in theory, because they’ll invest in the economy, benefitting poor people. In practice, rich people keep the wealth and piss on everyone else (“trickle,” get it?).
Life with Dogs
I’ve rearranged my life around Ollie, not unlike when we had children. I go to bed early because there’s a chance he’ll need to pee during the night. I set my alarm early because he definitely needs to pee in the morning (even more than I do). During winter, I left boots and a warm jacket by the back door so I could hustle him out and make sure he did his thing. I’m like one of those royal attendants, catering to the whims of the monarchy (i.e., the dogs): “Did you do your business sir? Bravo. Well done. Yes sir, I smell it despite the blizzard.”
Ridiculous
Is all of this ridiculous? Of course it is, but what about life isn’t ridiculous? Like with family, it just seems right to do the ridiculous without complaint. Well, not any serious complaints.
And dogs return the love in quiet, yet amazing, moments.
Love, Actually
For instance, while composing this short piece, I was interrupted three times to take them outside where I threw a ball for them to chase, and then summoned them back inside once I was sure there was no more business to conduct. And now, as I come to the conclusion, both of the dogs are napping on the floor beside my chair, likely dreaming of when they’ll get to go outside next.
For my part, I’m happily anticipating the chance to pet them and play with them and take them outside once again, where they may bark at the wind and any passing ships.