Marv Albert, Hall of Fame sports broadcaster, was accused of sexual assault back in 1997. He lost his job (at least for two years, which was significant back when white men were rarely held accountable for such things). This morning, I had to look up what he’d done because I couldn’t remember the pertinent details.
What he did seemed like a joke to me back then. Of course, it wasn’t a joke to the victims and I realize now how crass was my reaction back then, but there was something odd about his assaults. Despite the lurid details, I only remember what he said after the court case was settled and Marv tried to put his life back together. This is not an exact quote, but it was something like:
I’m going to focus on spending time with my wife and walking my dogs in the park.
Here’s a famous sports personality accused of sexual assault, but what really matters to him, upon reflection, is his wife and his dogs.
I’ve always loved dogs so that part of the story stuck with me.
I mentioned last year that we got us a pandemic puppy, an Australian shepherd named Ollie. What started out as a tough challenge with Ollie as a puppy became a nightmare as it turned out he was reactive, going berserk when anyone knocked on the door, or walked past the house, or even drove past the house. Heaven forbid we took him on a walk and encountered another animal outside.
It took all my strength to restrain him on a leash. The good news is that my deltoids have never been so jacked!
We were driven to the point of frustration six, seven times a day. We had to abandon the walks, draw the shades, and break up fights with our other dog in the house.
Ollie was exhausting us and we needed help.
He reminded me of the dog we got when I was just five. That dog, Lightning, barked at everything it saw, chased anything that moved, and bit a couple of kids who dared come near our house. Basically, she was a terrible dog for us, and my father nearly killed it in anger several times.
We had no idea how to deal with it, and so Lightning, despite our love for her, was a challenge to the family that we never figured out. We were ignorant and my parents were too harassed and harried to also solve that problem. I mean, my dad wasn’t going to stop playing softball or not go fishing to work with the dog.
Last year, I was determined with Ollie to figure it out. In between his loud, frightening outbursts, he was cute and playful. But I had no idea the amount of energy an Australian shepherd brings.
We went to two obedience classes, one especially for reactive dogs, and it gave me a framework to pursue. The best advice, though, was that, “A dog like that needs a hobby.”
A herding dog with nothing to herd is going to get into trouble.
We kept playing with Ollie, and I worked specifically on tossing a frisbee to him. It’s not easy though. If the throw sucks, it’s not as much fun for the dog. It’s even more embarrassing for me. Like, who can’t throw a frisbee to a dog?
The key breakthrough came in purchasing a K-10 frisbee that flies nicely and can survive the dogs chomping.
After three months of throwing the frisbee five times a day–I’m thinking about 15,000 throws–I got the hang of it. Ollie is adept at the chase, the leap, and the catch. When it all comes together, it’s exciting and fun.
We still have a long way to go with Ollie, but I’m using other training programs to calm his ass down.
Speaking of asses, let’s get back to the Marv Albert sex scandal. The lurid details are that he had a penchant for biting his sex partners (err, victims) on the ass.
As often happens with someone who is famous and wealthy, he made that statement about wanting to enjoy simpler things in life, like walking his dogs, to recover his reputation and career. I think of it often when Ollie is being a pain. I’m going to keep working on him until he can be around other people and remain calm.
I’ve never wanted to bite someone on the ass, or anywhere, for that matter, and I’m hoping Ollie never does either, so that we can enjoy walks in the park together.
Meanwhile, at My Writing Desk…
Writing a novel is a lot like working with a reactive dog. There’s frustration, set backs, and a lot of confusion about how to fix all the problems. I’ve made some progress lately so I’m hopeful.
As often happens, I found inspiration in a novel I read (see below).
Also, I submitted two short pieces to humor publications, and that also gives me hope.
Upcoming Books and Stuff
The novel was also about me figuring out how to write a novel and be funny. (I think I did both.)
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Maybe You’d Like
I’m working with a group of romance writers with stories about second chances. I’m pretty sure mine is the only rom-com. A lot of the other books have those very intense covers of men and women in various states of undress.
Recommended Reading
I read a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel called Tinkers. It’s the story of a family, and an endearing portrait of their lives, and also a quiet contemplation of life itself. It’s rather like a Virginia Woolf novel, but a little easier to read.
Next Picayune
Thanks for reading the Mickey Picayune.
All the best,
Mickey
P.S. Here is a story about Marv Albert’s case: https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1997-sep-26-mn-36348-story.html